The safety of her heart

The safety of her heart, treasured from the start, opens a portal, a chasm, through which reality comes apart. No more “he said, she said”. It’s not about events. Focus comes off of behavior, and moves toward what’s heaven sent. An abundance of kiss, rays of coherence. It’s not just that she longs for love, […]

Unless he can respect the mystery of her being

She can’t fully respect him unless he can respect the mystery of her being. She is closer to reality, even if she doesn’t believe it. She may need his help to position herself properly, relationally. This doesn’t mean he is above her, it means he’s honest and humble. His visible leadership is not a dictatorship, […]

What seems obvious

What seems obvious is usually a false assumption. There is a big difference (in tone) between gaslighting ourselves versus questioning false assumptions. A blind spot is a multi-dimensional holding pattern which lacks Seeing, Intent, Will, breath, and awareness. It can be challenged in its assumptions and its network of reinforced repression beliefs. The beliefs are […]

They’re going to guess incorrectly

If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly. They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you. They’re going to make you an angel or a demon. If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, […]

Truth is inconvenient

Truth is inconvenient when we have created a persona and a business and maybe even a relationship and a family around a lie. Then, anyone who mentions the lie is seen by the persona as an enemy, even if it’s actually helpful. This is how most of the world operates. This is what makes the […]

If she doubts his devotion

If she doubts his devotion, she has to test it. That’s the only way they can both know it’s real. If he’s lying to himself, that lie has got to be revealed. Her doubt is a gift. She is using it to squeeze every last doubt from him until he chooses completely “yes I’m in”, […]

Confidence is a persona

Confidence is a persona. There is no one to be confident. “You” don’t need to learn how to be confident. This is a false construct. Is the sun confident? Is a newborn baby confident? It’s just an idea. Life grows. Nature is allowed to be nature. You’re off the hook from being somebody.

Universal principles

People often get pissed off about universal principles because they can appear to de-value their unique perspective. We can easily shun an approach which is helpful, from a place of rebellion. It only hurts themselves. People get stuck for years and decades due to this rebellion. This includes over-loyalty to religious affiliation, cultures of origin, […]

There is nothing wrong with you

Every distortion you have is a reflection of a deeper truth. There is nothing wrong with you. You are a holy, innocent being. Doing “the work” is necessary and can be extremely challenging, but please don’t imagine this is a reflection of who YOU are. It is totally unrelated. Your nervous system state doesn’t define […]

Allowing Projections

As a guide for people on their personal journeys I have had to realize over the course of many years that it is very important for me to allow people to have their projections and misunderstandings about me. If for example they see me as a narcissist or manipulator or however it is that they […]