A Necessity called “Losing”

Children count down when they’re ready to race:
“Ready, set, go!”
Their interest is expansive.
It’s fun to win!
And it’s even fun to make a pouty face when you lose!
Mass hypnosis tells us that losing is not fun.
And that change is hard.
Or that a learning opportunity is shameful.
But how can we learn if we do not see that we need to learn?
How can we learn what it takes to win if we don’t learn what it takes to lose?
Losing our minds, our control, our lifestyle status quo.
Nothing is a more radically self-loving game than losing with precision.
This is why we were taught to say please and thank you.
Please may I win?
No, not if you need it.
Thank you.
Please may I be the one and only?
No, not if you depend on it.
Thank you.
Please may I sleep peacefully at night?
No, not if you think you need permission.
Thank you.
Please may my tummy stop grumbling?
No, not if you aren’t willing to let it grumble as much as it needs to.
Thank you.
The joy inherent in losing is not immediately obvious to everyone.
Losing is simply creating possibilities for expansion.
Greatness is only great because some things are not great.

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