If you don’t build rapport with someone first, don’t expect them to be interested in your feedback.
Unsolicited opinions will likely be experienced by others as your own unmet needs.
If you have a need to be seen, valued, and revered – whether or not that need is conscious- any feedback coming from this place will likely be a waste of time and effort with any self-aware person.
Oftentimes, this isn’t easy to see, especially when the feedback is CORRECT and TRUE. And then the personal development holier-than-thou ego says, “Well, since I know I’m correct, the other person must be committed to denial since they cannot accept the feedback”.
This is a cycle of self-sabotage. This makes one alone and anti-social, unable to gather a healthy community. This is why the question exists: “Would you rather be right or happy?”
Forcing unsolicited feedback down someone else’s throat without consent is bullying behavior.
Grandiose narcissism.
A technique to avoid feeling smallness and helplessness.
To feel safer by enforcing your own worldview onto someone else.
To impress someone with your impression.
It might even come along with the notion “You are playing a victim!” Actually, no, I am standing up for myself like I should in this case.
I grew up experiencing this – boomers have this habit in a strong way. “This is how things are!”
This domineering energy is running out. I see you.
By the way, I write my own life lessons and share them here not to teach but to process my own experience.
Maybe it’s just a private journal, maybe someone will read it.
That is none of my business.
Thank you.
Joshua
