Are my needs a punishment?

If you take my having needs as a punishment, you are probably punishing yourself for having needs. Because you think are protecting other people from feeling punished, because you are used to your needs being taken as an attack. A useful mantra is also the name of an old famous book: I’m okay, you’re okay.

Devotion is not about getting

Devotion is not about getting needs met. It is not about getting. If I depend on someone to meet my needs, I am trying to strip them of their right to make individual choices. You are not in debt to me just because we are in a relationship. You are not being threatened with abandonment […]

Why do polarity teachings exist?

Why do polarity teachings exist (as they are typically shared)? Because people are experiencing lack and want to experience abundance. Why are they fearing lack? Because they have been programmed to do so. They have triggers around lack, and so abundance appears to be the answer to “fix” it. And so men are trained to […]

The skill of not being an abuser

::The skill of not being an abuser:: From the narcissistic age of development, we retain some degree of narcissism in ourselves. This is difficult to dissolve. Because of this, we maintain some degree of abusive tendency through which we are mean and incomplete in our ability to honor the experience and sovereignty of other people. […]

“NO!”

A woman’s ability to say, imply, and to act on her “NO!” is her greatest resource. Minimal explanation needed. Explaining herself will often diffuse her No and invite questioning. For many women, saying No is also their greatest FEAR. The man is afraid of how he feels hearing No, and so she is also afraid […]

The safety of her heart

The safety of her heart, treasured from the start, opens a portal, a chasm, through which reality comes apart. No more “he said, she said”. It’s not about events. Focus comes off of behavior, and moves toward what’s heaven sent. An abundance of kiss, rays of coherence. It’s not just that she longs for love, […]

Unless he can respect the mystery of her being

She can’t fully respect him unless he can respect the mystery of her being. She is closer to reality, even if she doesn’t believe it. She may need his help to position herself properly, relationally. This doesn’t mean he is above her, it means he’s honest and humble. His visible leadership is not a dictatorship, […]

They’re going to guess incorrectly

If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly. They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you. They’re going to make you an angel or a demon. If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, […]

If she doubts his devotion

If she doubts his devotion, she has to test it. That’s the only way they can both know it’s real. If he’s lying to himself, that lie has got to be revealed. Her doubt is a gift. She is using it to squeeze every last doubt from him until he chooses completely “yes I’m in”, […]

True submission

True submission is how she leads him spiritually… The key difference is not actually the submission component, but how it is misused and misrepresented. What is described there is not actually submission, it is giving up and giving away one’s power. True submission is how she leads him spiritually. It is never bartered or exchanged, […]