If you want something to be true

If you want something to be true, you have the power to make it appear true in your mind. All red flags are drained of their color when we are in a zombie state of perception, fueled by dopamine and hope. If we make a decision for what’s not actually true, life will create innumerable […]

The skill of not being an abuser

::The skill of not being an abuser:: From the narcissistic age of development, we retain some degree of narcissism in ourselves. This is difficult to dissolve. Because of this, we maintain some degree of abusive tendency through which we are mean and incomplete in our ability to honor the experience and sovereignty of other people. […]

“NO!”

A woman’s ability to say, imply, and to act on her “NO!” is her greatest resource. Minimal explanation needed. Explaining herself will often diffuse her No and invite questioning. For many women, saying No is also their greatest FEAR. The man is afraid of how he feels hearing No, and so she is also afraid […]

The safety of her heart

The safety of her heart, treasured from the start, opens a portal, a chasm, through which reality comes apart. No more “he said, she said”. It’s not about events. Focus comes off of behavior, and moves toward what’s heaven sent. An abundance of kiss, rays of coherence. It’s not just that she longs for love, […]

Unless he can respect the mystery of her being

She can’t fully respect him unless he can respect the mystery of her being. She is closer to reality, even if she doesn’t believe it. She may need his help to position herself properly, relationally. This doesn’t mean he is above her, it means he’s honest and humble. His visible leadership is not a dictatorship, […]

What seems obvious

What seems obvious is usually a false assumption. There is a big difference (in tone) between gaslighting ourselves versus questioning false assumptions. A blind spot is a multi-dimensional holding pattern which lacks Seeing, Intent, Will, breath, and awareness. It can be challenged in its assumptions and its network of reinforced repression beliefs. The beliefs are […]

They’re going to guess incorrectly

If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly. They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you. They’re going to make you an angel or a demon. If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, […]

Truth is inconvenient

Truth is inconvenient when we have created a persona and a business and maybe even a relationship and a family around a lie. Then, anyone who mentions the lie is seen by the persona as an enemy, even if it’s actually helpful. This is how most of the world operates. This is what makes the […]

If she doubts his devotion

If she doubts his devotion, she has to test it. That’s the only way they can both know it’s real. If he’s lying to himself, that lie has got to be revealed. Her doubt is a gift. She is using it to squeeze every last doubt from him until he chooses completely “yes I’m in”, […]

Confidence is a persona

Confidence is a persona. There is no one to be confident. “You” don’t need to learn how to be confident. This is a false construct. Is the sun confident? Is a newborn baby confident? It’s just an idea. Life grows. Nature is allowed to be nature. You’re off the hook from being somebody.