If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly.They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you.
They’re going to make you an angel or a demon.
If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, if you’re expecting to be seen and known without taking action, you’re playing a game which is going to end in a lose/lose.
Partnership is not about the relationship, it’s about you. If you must have a relationship to have you, drama is all you’re gong to get.
Partnerships are idealized as a “thing” because they typically numb us from facing what we would rather avoid and ignore.
A good partner doesn’t allow you to rest in your ignorance. And yet most people believe that a good partner makes you comfortable.
At the same time, the incredibly gentle offering of humility and grace is necessary to communicate this properly.
Such a balance is rare because animalistic attitudes of desperation interfere with so-called “love”.
Truthfully, most people are not in a place within themselves to be ready for a partnership. It is a balm and a delaying of the inevitable.
To truly be with another being requires a generosity and presence on a level of mastery. It’s either hard-won or well prepared for.
