Unless he can respect the mystery of her being

She can’t fully respect him unless he can respect the mystery of her being. She is closer to reality, even if she doesn’t believe it. She may need his help to position herself properly, relationally. This doesn’t mean he is above her, it means he’s honest and humble. His visible leadership is not a dictatorship, […]

They’re going to guess incorrectly

If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly. They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you. They’re going to make you an angel or a demon. If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, […]

If she doubts his devotion

If she doubts his devotion, she has to test it. That’s the only way they can both know it’s real. If he’s lying to himself, that lie has got to be revealed. Her doubt is a gift. She is using it to squeeze every last doubt from him until he chooses completely “yes I’m in”, […]

True submission

True submission is how she leads him spiritually… The key difference is not actually the submission component, but how it is misused and misrepresented. What is described there is not actually submission, it is giving up and giving away one’s power. True submission is how she leads him spiritually. It is never bartered or exchanged, […]

Sorry, not sorry

I lost a lot of friends when I stopped identifying with suffering. It was very much worth it. Some people want me to stay relatable. But that’s not who I am. Sorry, not sorry. I am much more humble this way, to life and to myself.

“I love you”

Honestly, most people are saying “I love you” because they want to hear it back. This is dishonest communication. This is called “Giving to get”, and is a form of manipulation. “Thank you” is not a bad response to “I love you”. It doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t love you, it means they feel […]

Cat Magic

Last night I was teaching Cat Magic to my cat. I’ve learned (and of course am always learning) how magic works for humans, and last night I learned how to communicate with my cat in a way no one had ever communicated with him before. The transmission comes through physical touch, responsiveness and pressure, telepathic […]

Embracing Relational Death+Rebirth Cycles (for Men)

There are some important things for men to understand about relationship challenges with women. Even when unpleasant, these are often a major opportunity one is not recognizing. Making a repair is only possible if the relationship becomes stronger than ever. Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is not necessary. Regardless of which decisions you make, you’re likely […]

How to Receive a Woman’s Love

Dear Men. A woman’s perspective, felt experience, and developmental process is considerably different than a man’s. For a man, understanding a woman’s communication style and underlying agenda is often highly counterintuitive and thus is seems incredibly mysterious. It is in fact incredibly simple. Men tend to make things much more complex than […]

Natural Idealization of Partners and Teachers

I have been going through a deeply personal process around grieving ex-partners. It’s not as simple as “I’m opening my heart again”. In learning about the stages of development I have come to identify the way that I naively idealized these partners, and that is actually what is being released now. As children, we need […]