Embracing Relational Death+Rebirth Cycles (for Men)

There are some important things for men to understand about relationship challenges with women. Even when unpleasant, these are often a major opportunity one is not recognizing.
Making a repair is only possible if the relationship becomes stronger than ever.
Pain is unavoidable. Suffering is not necessary.
Regardless of which decisions you make, you’re likely going to have to feel some really intense stuff either way.
Her womb’s intuition absolutely tells her to go with how she feels.
But that doesn’t mean what you think it means as a man. This is a lesson I’ve had to learn myself.
It’s all about her building internal permission and self-trust. The real test she is going through is to determine whether she can mature as a woman and trust herself. Whether she will listen to herself, or not.
The feeling she gets in moving toward her desires means everything to her self-trust. This is integrity for her – integrity means something different to a woman than it does to a man and his ideals.
This isn’t to say that she should do whatever she feels like doing – it only means that she needs to own and honor her desires rather than suppress them as usual. It is often actually the taboo that makes them attractive.
If a man allows himself to be curious, to be stronger than his own fears, this removes the taboo of scaring him and actually makes it less attractive for her.
This is the role of the mature masculine, to literally not care about what she does or what she chooses – to not allow the emotional releases she catalyzes to be actually about her (Hi Mom ❤).
Wherever you have an emotional attachment to her behavior, her behavior will reflect rebellion against that. Her inner teen is designed by G-D to test your attachment style.
Her desires are a direct reflection of your subconscious fears.
Owning this process as I’m describing takes immense courage and trust, and it’s not in any way meant to lead you into the dogmas of feminist ideologies.
I want you to be able to stand your ground but to do it in a way that is totally emotionally detached. This will lead her toward the opening she is looking for – it doesn’t have to be with other people, it can be with you, but you would have to be open to it. If you are afraid of her or resent her, you are not open to all of her.
This is the opportunity. It could be hard for you to believe it’s possible and this is where your own belief system is creating a limitation in how you relate.
Relationships have natural cycles of death and rebirth. Our immature aspects will interpret this as disloyalty and problems. Every relationship must go through a death, a natural cycle. Your old relationship is ending so a new one can begin. The mind wants to make it a problem or to mean “break up”, but that’s because it is an ego death for you also.
Allowing a death inside yourself is the key. You can’t make a completely sober decision if you are not done with this process.
The feminine leads emotionally and spiritually with her womb. Every step of the way. For her to trust herself, and her man, this is what she must follow. It is her GPS.
However, she is not going to interpret the signals accurately. She will just know if something is missing or not.
Your job is to mature yourself as a man. This is the opposite of feminine.
You are leading the way in determination and commitment to what you want, beyond what your emotional responses may be telling you.
Owning the tendencies of the boy and trading them in for ever greater responsibility. She wants a man who is more powerful than her in his masculine leadership. This doesn’t mean she needs to always be dominated, but she wants to know that you can if you choose to. Paradoxically, a mature woman is repulsed by a domineering man who either dominates as a show or out of an abusive habit.
This is not philosophy, this is biology. Males must go through an initiation process in order to meet women fully as they need to be met. This deepens their connection to their biology, often deepening their voice in the process.
We are a part of that process whether we accept it or not. It is not meant to be enjoyable (though it can be), it is a challenge life is offering you through her. She represents the power and fuel of the relationship, while the man represents the deployment of power.
When you don’t trust life, you can’t trust her. When you can’t trust her, she can’t trust you.
When you can’t trust the higher mind, you don’t have space to value how she feels.
If we have some kind of persistent underlying anxiety about life, we will have a tendency to blame those around us for seemingly causing it.
This can be especially common in romantic relationships because that’s where we are particularly vulnerable and it appears “our heart is on the line” when it comes to decisions the other makes.
But this codependent dynamic is being called to be burned away completely. It may be difficult to perceive “what is safe” and “what is dangerous” because intense emotions can feel dangerous, even when they truly are the integration of power that we seek.
When we have an emotional response upon “disliking” an experience, we often are not aware that our emotion is our responsibility. A negative emotion is a sign we have abandoned ourselves in some way. It does not mean what the mind usually believes it means.
This is not to suggest to shy away from placing healthy boundaries – it just means owning that we have blind spots until the emotion is fully experienced, knowing that our perception will be shifted after this is complete.
This intensity which we habitually reject is our Power.
We may allow power in certain areas of our life, and then we could totally reject it in others. Without seeing this clearly, we may incorrectly believe that the situations which seem to be “removing” our power are actually situations that cause us to unconsciously spring a leak.
I’ve personally just gone through a super intense relationship cycle. Trusting. Trusting. It’s like a bubble is blowing up inside of us. As the Gene Keys has said “God is Pressure”. The pressure we feel is the area of our energy field which is rejecting our divinity.
Now, something has burst and the dust is settling. We are both more mature. We are reconnecting on a different plane of existence and must re-meet each other. This completely changes how decisions are made. This growth process moves us toward the number one reason our soul is on this planet. Turning away from the opportunity to grow our being beyond our current threshold of power is only delaying the inevitable.
Accepting the challenges life gives us means:
A) We are responsible for interpreting the actual challenge correctly
B) Knowing that we can’t predict the outcome (detach)
C) Recognizing that committing to challenges builds our competency
D) Even though we can’t predict the outcome, we are allowing ourselves to completely (paradoxically) commit to a specific direction until the objective is complete (or until the goal moves again)
We’ve been conditioned and brainwashed to entrain our inner meanings to the happenstance of external events. We need the vast majority of our attention directed internally toward our own being, as nature intended.
One may ask where to draw the line regarding placing ourselves in abusive situations. We must be realistic with ourselves about how much power we have, and how effective we are at breaking the cemented abusive belief systems. Without being distracted away from our internal focus. We must also be willing to perceive complete accuracy where we are contributing to situations. Otherwise, we will just enable the same abuse at the next opportunity.
If we don’t have enough power to see through/break through such distortions, it is better to leave and go through the next period without partnership.
You are 100% responsible for deciding the most empowering outcome. This doesn’t mean self-preservation – it means actually monumental growth. Making possible a completely different experience of yourself and the world.
Thank you to the artist 🙏
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Joshua Panczer
Immersive Experience Designer
Joshua Brandon Pánczér is a multidimensional artist, experience designer, author, public speaker/comedian, and transformational leadership facilitator. Originally from California, he currently lives in Utah, and also enjoys traveling in Thailand, Bali, or in Europe.

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