I have recently come face to face with some deep projections that have been lurking inside of my system unconsciously.
Anytime I write or share anything, it is with the assumption that there is stuff like this in my system still needing to be processed and realized.
So, this doesn’t affect or discount any of my previous writings – while of course, the point is always to go ever deeper.
It is amazing to me to See in our society, and speaking from my own experience, how projections are completely normalized. Almost everybody is projecting constantly.
We look to others to blame or to revere in order to escape from our pain.
The pain may not be conscious, but avoiding it still drives us.
Our minds rationalize all of our behaviors. Our behaviors are coping mechanisms that don’t change until we are up against a wall in which we must finally face the pain. When there is no way out.
In this sense, difficulties in life can be a huge blessing. Hardships cause us to see our projections.
I’ve just returned from a profound voyage in which I got to participate in a pilgrimage experience with the indigenous Huichol tribe in Mexico.
Of the various learnings that have become obvious to me, the most important seems to be the recognition of the extreme sexual perversions we embody and yet take for granted in our culture.
The medicine the tribe provided brought these subconscious perversions up to the surface and revealed to me a damaged gender identity and the tendencies and behaviors that correspond with this very common issue.
I have had to come to terms with deep hurts from the feminine, which have caused projections onto the feminine.
This kept me in a deep mental loop, preventing me from embodying more masculinity.
Ironically, I’d perceived my thinking mind as a masculine ability while, in fact, this was a survival technique – a side effect of my perceived vulnerability and deeply unprocessed hurts.
This was playing out an agenda I wasn’t aware of in which I have been attempting to strangle my own sensitive anima/feminine as a way to get revenge unconsciously.
In wanting the feminine to provide me happiness, I have been subtly threatening her well-being if she doesn’t comply.
These deep unconscious programs have been inherited from both sides of my lineage.
Such programs bring many couples together through shared trauma.
Our projections create flimsy bonds that will not be capable of enduring the necessary hardships.
Very often, couples cannot stay together with such a false foundation.
It’s obvious to me how tempting it is to encourage each other to project falsities upon us rather than to see us as we really are. This artificially creates higher or lower expectations to make us more socially comfortable.
This manipulation of others’ perspectives comes from these perversions of our inner relationships.
If I harbor resentment toward my anima and feel deprived of her natural abundance, then of course I become addicted to milking that perceived abundance through socialization – an addiction to manipulation.
Exerting the Will to make ourselves conscious of these tendencies is likely only appealing if we are to some degree in touch with the validity of our true innocence and right to exist.
Joshua
Deep Projections
