I have recently come face to face with some deep projections that have been lurking inside of my system unconsciously.
Anytime I write or share anything, it is with the assumption that there is stuff like this in my system still needing to be processed and realized.
So, this doesn’t affect or discount any of my previous writings – while of course, the point is always to go ever deeper.
It is amazing to me to See in our society, and speaking from my own experience, how projections are completely normalized. Almost everybody is projecting constantly.
We look to others to blame or to revere in order to escape from our pain.
The pain may not be conscious, but avoiding it still drives us.
Our minds rationalize all of our behaviors. Our behaviors are coping mechanisms that don’t change until we are up against a wall in which we must finally face the pain. When there is no way out.
In this sense, difficulties in life can be a huge blessing. Hardships cause us to see our projections.
I’ve just returned from a profound voyage in which I got to participate in a pilgrimage experience with the indigenous Huichol tribe in Mexico.
Of the various learnings that have become obvious to me, the most important seems to be the recognition of the extreme sexual perversions we embody and yet take for granted in our culture.
The medicine the tribe provided brought these subconscious perversions up to the surface and revealed to me a damaged gender identity and the tendencies and behaviors that correspond with this very common issue.
I have had to come to terms with deep hurts from the feminine, which have caused projections onto the feminine.
This kept me in a deep mental loop, preventing me from embodying more masculinity.
Ironically, I’d perceived my thinking mind as a masculine ability while, in fact, this was a survival technique – a side effect of my perceived vulnerability and deeply unprocessed hurts.
This was playing out an agenda I wasn’t aware of in which I have been attempting to strangle my own sensitive anima/feminine as a way to get revenge unconsciously.
In wanting the feminine to provide me happiness, I have been subtly threatening her well-being if she doesn’t comply.
These deep unconscious programs have been inherited from both sides of my lineage.
Such programs bring many couples together through shared trauma.
Our projections create flimsy bonds that will not be capable of enduring the necessary hardships.
Very often, couples cannot stay together with such a false foundation.
It’s obvious to me how tempting it is to encourage each other to project falsities upon us rather than to see us as we really are. This artificially creates higher or lower expectations to make us more socially comfortable.
This manipulation of others’ perspectives comes from these perversions of our inner relationships.
If I harbor resentment toward my anima and feel deprived of her natural abundance, then of course I become addicted to milking that perceived abundance through socialization – an addiction to manipulation.
Exerting the Will to make ourselves conscious of these tendencies is likely only appealing if we are to some degree in touch with the validity of our true innocence and right to exist.
Joshua
Deep Projections
4 thoughts on “Deep Projections”
Leave a Reply
Thanks for sharing this deep realization of yours, Joshua.
It is incredible to see how much energy is used to keep up the false identities that I have created to protect myself from hurt and abandonment. It is mind-blowing to see that this actually creates a feeling of hurt and abandonment, as if there is apart of me that just wants this experience over and over again, so I can (eventually and finally) see how I create my own reality in relationships.
I often feel that there is an automated part of my psyche and body consciousness that is not just the basic functionality of survival but that is linked to very specific patterns that create and perpetuate a certain narrative or perspective. It is that I can see more and more how there are so many different types of triggers leading to such an automated response.
Sometimes I feel that we humans have become automatons.
I remember you speaking about “the human maschine”.
There is something at play that has to become acutely conscious, or otherwise it will just continue to run the show.
I am also seeing how emotions (especially unprocessed emotions from the past) are a very powerful component in this “unconscious” mix of elements. It is playing out by itself, and I am often an involuntary participant.
So I am taking a lot of time to meditate and inquire into my being, and my body, to bring up what is there, so I can see it, and come to completion with things, and find deep emotional resolution.
It is also dawning on me how the reverse inquire of Kiloby Inquiries is just such an intelligent approach, because the body holds things hidden from us, as a safety measure, as a protective mechanism. It is literally that we have to bypass the trained “ignorance” and access the hidden aspects of our psyche and the energy related to that.
Very beautiful articulations, yes! Thank you for sharing!
“extreme sexual perversions we embody” – erm…. an interesting collection of words here. Who is the “we” you refer to? I am unaware of any extreme sexual perversions I am embodying, and I find it curious that you didn’t elaborate on this. Also curious about the use of “we”, a word that we(!) tend to use incorrectly, especially when it lacks the context of who “we” is. Much to unpack in the words, “perversions” – defined by who? What is a perversion anyway? More questions than answers in this one, I’d wager 🙂
Thanks for your comment. I will answer honestly, though because of the deeply fear-based and sadistic quality of the comment I cannot imagine virtually any response I provide landing without disdain from the original (anonymous) author, as there is clearly only cynicism and a disempowered mal-intent driving it.
This is, by the way, a side effect of the unconscious perversion in question.
It is known by Jung as the mother complex. It appears as simple discontent at the surface but has far darker and deeper roots.
Hopefully my reply here will at least be beneficial to someone here. Those who are taking a genuine opportunity to have a meaningful conversation and are not making wagers in favor of failure.
When in my writing I mention “we” I am referring to the current state of humanity – especially men.
This is where we are unconsciously living from a manipulative, emotionally repressed, and perverse standard psycho/spiritual position.
Therefore, I don’t think “we” is used incorrectly when it is referring to humanity on this planet at this time.
If “we” as a species are unconscious of our extreme sexual perversions – of course you would not be aware of them! How could you? That’s what makes it unconscious.
If mine were made conscious by a plant medicine journey forcing awareness deep in to the recesses of my psyche, why would the fact that you are unaware of yours indicate any bearing on reality?
Do you want to know what a perversion is?
It is when your distorted feminine is acting as if it is masculine.
The energies are twisted and backward.
It’s when someone pokes a beehive in a way which is self-sabotaging in nature.
That’s the effect of perversion, which can also be considered the cause of human suffering.
If you’re experiencing suffering in your life and your relationship with yourself – in this definition you are experiencing the effects of this perversion.
Most people prefer to suffer rather than to inquire into their subconscious patterns because the pain of such perversion is too much for them to stick with and it must be projected outward.