My integrity is constantly being questioned.I am constantly under energetic attack from multiple angles.
It is never-ending.
From friends, family, strangers, and beyond.
This is the price a living warrior must pay for standing in their authority.
This is the cost of remaining free while remaining connected to community.
And I welcome the challenge.
It causes my blade to be sharpened.
I will not compete.
I will speak up about what I see happening, but I will never demean others.
They may feel embarrassed by my observations and responses, but I am never interested in a social hierarchy of any kind.
I have designed my perception in such a way that instead of becoming “beaten down” I become stronger from the resistance I face.
Consistently.
Because it brings my human resistance to the surface and makes me conscious of any self-sabotage mechanisms I continue to indulge in.
I can then thank any nay-sayers for assisting me in creating more integrity and strength, as I turn their attacks into usable Will.
There are a million and one “reasons” people might be shooting their poison darts in my direction.
The sharing my poetry and Knowledge can be interpreted to mean that I’m “arrogant”, and I’m “mansplaining” (Even though subscribing to me is totally optional.)
If I’m standing up for the inherent value of women I’ve been told “Blink twice if she is holding a gun to your head” – as if it is impossible simply to love without strings attached!
If I wasn’t under attack, it would be because I’m hiding and not making bold moves.
Believing we can have what we want is deemed arrogant in our society and the limitations of others want to keep us frozen and preoccupied in a survival trance.
People have become totally convinced that they can not be loved properly, and so they refuse to love properly.
People have become totally convinced that dealing with large amounts of money “means” they are greedy and in a shadow.
People have become totally convinced that anyone who is humble toward the opposite gender is trying to manipulate them for approval.
Personally: I want to live in a utopia of powerful creation and purposeful love and abundance.
Why would I choose anything else?
Is the “reality check” designed to benefit me or drag me down?
The deeply unconscious motives people have to “be right” at all cost is driving them toward endless suffering.
I share here, as a way of paying it forward, because I’ve paid my dues (and of course I still continue to pay them in various ways.)
There is a common question in the business/entrepreneurial role: When should I take a profit vs reinvest into my business?
In the realm of growing personal power, integrity means reinvesting EVERY bit of power received back into the pool of power and not keeping ANY profit.
For a man, at least.
If I am seeking social profit, I am not trustworthy.
If I am looking to gain fans or influence simply for the boost of positive sensations, I am eroding my own self-trust.
My intent must be utterly pure, even though it will most certainly be at odds with whatever lingering karmas and desires to be seen remain within me.
This way, if and when I am attacked, I can Know and See exactly what is based on distortions and I can differentiate between reality and delusion.
Joshua
