::The skill of not being an abuser:: From the narcissistic age of development, we retain some degree of narcissism in ourselves. This is difficult to dissolve. Because of this, we maintain some degree of abusive tendency through which we are mean and incomplete in our ability to honor the experience and sovereignty of other people. […]

A woman’s ability to say, imply, and to act on her “NO!” is her greatest resource. Minimal explanation needed. Explaining herself will often diffuse her No and invite questioning. For many women, saying No is also their greatest FEAR. The man is afraid of how he feels hearing No, and so she is also afraid […]

The safety of her heart, treasured from the start, opens a portal, a chasm, through which reality comes apart. No more “he said, she said”. It’s not about events. Focus comes off of behavior, and moves toward what’s heaven sent. An abundance of kiss, rays of coherence. It’s not just that she longs for love, […]

She can’t fully respect him unless he can respect the mystery of her being. She is closer to reality, even if she doesn’t believe it. She may need his help to position herself properly, relationally. This doesn’t mean he is above her, it means he’s honest and humble. His visible leadership is not a dictatorship, […]

If your partner is in a position where they are forced to guess who you are, they’re going to guess incorrectly. They’re going to project their fantasies and their fears upon you. They’re going to make you an angel or a demon. If you don’t step into the arena and show them who you are, […]

If she doubts his devotion, she has to test it. That’s the only way they can both know it’s real. If he’s lying to himself, that lie has got to be revealed. Her doubt is a gift. She is using it to squeeze every last doubt from him until he chooses completely “yes I’m in”, […]