My suffering has been self-created by my own grasping for power. My own blindness.
I had to stop my coaching business because I was using my ability to See as a way to get love and approval from others.
This is a savior complex:
In my nervous system.
This has been in and out of my awareness for a long time.
I remember, forget, remember, forget.
I grew up in an environment where I felt like the only sane person.
I felt like everyone else needed to be guided in order to restore sanity in the home.
I have been unconsciously trying to save others to get safety for myself.
I have tricked myself many times into believing this simple thought “I am a good person” and this distracts me from my unconscious drive.
When something is truly unconscious, there is no way we can own it.
I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to being in denial of unconscious patterns.
But, what we can do to make things right is we can take other people’s feedback and truly hear it.
As uncomfortable as it may be.
Our narcissism hates feedback.
Our blindness wants to remain intact.
We are constantly exposed to these narcissistic trickster energies attempting to derail us from the truth.
These energies produce thoughts and emotions which cause us to believe in mental rationalizations and ideologies which are simply not true.
This causes us to be easily sucked into spiritual bypassing and avoidance of the subconscious dramas.
This doesn’t mean something is wrong with us.
This does not affect our innocence or our power.
But it does thwart our power toward efforts of continued denial.
And this goes against our ability to build capacity.
I choose to own this savior complex pattern completely.
And I apologize for any ways this has affected others.
