Test me up, down, and sideways

And to see if they can get me to snap so that they can protect themselves from investing in an unhealthy relationship.

It’s not usually clear they are doing this until after the fact when we later discuss it. This also happens amid existing friendships, but to a lesser extent when a solid trust is already established.

So, getting started can be experienced as a relationship that’s difficult or has a lot of friction.

My job is to stay honest with myself. It’s important that I don’t demand anything from the other person.

I don’t demand humility.

I don’t demand respect.

Because I can take accountability for any negativity inside of myself, this allows me to perceive the movements of woundings inside of the other with compassion and sensitivity, rather than making it about myself.

Even (and especially) if the other person’s woundings are telling me that I’m the problem.

My mission inside of myself is to continuously build my will. And so experiences like this provide such opportunities to sharpen my blade that I’m actually able to be grateful

for those moments in which someone doesn’t like me.

If I need people to like me, it’s a disservice to them.

Remaining in truth and in consciousness, I’m aware, is highly irritating and well-known to set off all kinds of red flags and alerts about narcissism and hierarchies.

And yet, when the dust settles, and the wounded movements subside,it becomes clear that I’m not going to entertain a power struggle, and I’m not going to engage in dominance patterns, and I’m not going to lose respect for the other, even if a part of them deeply wants me to do so.

And, in staying connected to that beat of my own drum, others can become empowered to make new choices of their own accord, without me needing to dictate in any way whatsoever how they should be or what they should do. And there’s no need for me to let my preferences of human comfort be pushed onto a sovereign being, who is perhaps still learning the extent of their sovereignty.