If you HAD to know the answers to your questions, you’d be fully engaged and you would know.
It’s because you’re waiting for the external pressure to push you into the knowing.
You can do this yourself, but it defies nature so it can be very frightening.
But it’s not far away, it’s always right there.
This is not the same as self-abuse.
This has a side effect of healing, but that’s not the point.