Narcissistic Wounding: The Genocide of Intimacy

Narcissistic Wounding: The Genocide of Intimacy

Better sit down for this one, it’s big. I almost made this into two or three different posts, but doing so would diffuse the power it contains. Just following divine orders. Here we go.


We are moving through the narcissistic wounding of humanity right now. It is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and horrible. Incredible to witness. Terrifying. The impossible is becoming real, in both positive and negative ways.

We can see this happening in the political climate. Based on m@ndates we inch closer and closer to an external genocide of massive proportions. All of the people who have been “othered” in the rivalry of this side vs that side (you know what I’m talking about) are feeling the tension of potentially being ousted by the community.

One side needs the other to “wake up” from their fear of getting the thing, and one side wants the other to “wake up” from their fear of NOT getting the thing. Both sides are stuck in control loops. Both sides must surrender. This is happening both politically (externally) and in intimate relationship (internally).

I learned a new political term recently from a brother, called the “Overton window”. I found this fascinating.

To avoid comparison with the left/right political spectrum, Overton described a spectrum from “more free” to “less free”. As the spectrum moves or expands, an idea at a given location may become more or less politically acceptable. “Acceptability” is described in six degrees of acceptance of public ideas:

* Unthinkable
* Radical
* Acceptable
* Sensible
* Popular
* Policy

What I find so interesting is that what is “normal” to the left or the right changes over time. For example, value ideals which were “normal” for the left in the 90’s are now “normal” for the right and have become “radical” to the left. Reality hasn’t actually shifted – the Overton window has shifted. Someone who has maintained consistent ideals during this time will have, according to society’s view, changed from “left” to “right”. Even though they have not actually changed. Interestingly, this is also the same thing happening within degrees of relational intimacy. I’ll call them:

* Violent
* Radical
* Opinionated
* Reasonable
* People Pleasing
* Subservient

This means that relating which used to be considered violent is now being normalized. This also changes the “Overton window” of spirituality. What used to be “New Age Policy” is now seen as subservient because our standards have changed. Sh*t has to get really real (hit rock bottom) in order for us to really be willing to have the courage to normalize difficult conversations (and feelings).

I’ll give an example of how this plays out on a very simplified level. I had a good friend who had a successful clothing company. The company stayed virtually unchanged for a decade, and its fans went from being teenagers to twenty-somethings to thirty-somethings and they outgrew the brand. The brand may have appeared to change according to society’s trend standards. It is the “window” of interest that moved. They changed, the brand did not.

We are looking at the process of maturity and the collective of our resistance to it. As our collective maturity increases, our resistance to personal maturity has to “come to a head”. Some people are holding on to that resistance until the last possible minute, and it may cost them their lives. Some people are already humbling themselves and this will save them.

This surrendering process is the narcissistic wound. This is the part of us that is absolutely convinced that we simply cannot get what we want.

Humans have varying degrees of narcissistic wounding. There could be 5 or 50 onion layers adding to this depth of primal distortion.

As the author, I’ll say that I have been through many of these layers, but certainly not all. I know the terrain.

Narcissistic wounding is simply referring to wounding that happened in the narcissistic phase of childhood when we are at our most vulnerable. We are so tender and impressionable, and when “what we want” is not honored, when our god-given will is dismissed and overpowered by our well-meaning parents, we are trained to give up on who we truly are and to succumb to the slave-self. Narcissistic wounding = handing over the driver’s seat to the slave self – an unnatural, implanted consciousness that runs humanity on the fumes of constant fear. It feels very, very real. But it is not.

The progressive strength of this wound is what shifts the Overton window. Even if we become more conscious of the wound over time, the overall strength of the wound maintains consistently unless we actively go into it and learn to embody the atomic energy it holds. It is designed to feel impossible. That doesn’t mean it’s so.

It is terrifying to move through this because releasing this fundamental identity feels like protection is being ripped away. Taking away what we have deemed protection feels like we are surrendering “life” but actually we are surrendering “death”. Giving up the innate fight means touching the core of love which is the truth of who you are. It is simple but not easy. Immortality is not usually the obvious solution to the political insanity we are seeing externally.

In my personal life, right now I am sharing messages between an incredibly powerful couple who has blocked each other and does not feel safe to communicate. They are both working through their narcissistic wounding and it is super intense. And don’t get this twisted – it is BECAUSE they have done a ton of work inside of themselves that they are at this stage and this is what makes them willing to take on this enormous and beautiful task of restoring the truth. Nothing is wrong. They are both owning their parts. There is no other way this could be unfolding right now. They DO need to work through this narcissistic wounding individually. It is beautiful to witness. This is a prelude to what society is about to face.

If we can resolve this issue, we can resolve ANYTHING. If these two people can stick with the process (and they will), this creates a landmark energetic event for our species. We are reclaiming what is now normal. This issue is not going anywhere anytime soon. It’s us who must do this.

We are merging the predator with the prey. Dissolving the separation. There’s no going back, it is done.

If this doesn’t seem practical to you – keep in mind – Abundance simply can NOT be an issue if this is resolved. “Making money” is very very small potatoes compared to what we are dealing with here. This is where ease and resolution can blossom.

I want to leave these rage against the machine lyrics for you – this is where the left was living about 30 years ago:

“Killing in the name of!

And now you do what they told ya

And now you do what they told ya, now you’re under control

f___ you, I won’t do what you tell me.

We can see how much things have changed, and where we have moved as a species. This rebellious rage has changed hands.

You can see the osmosis of values from the shadow feminine toward the shadow masculine and vice versa.

We are doing this. Humanity is resolving itself. It is incredibly humbling to witness.

Bless us all.

Joshua Edjida on FacebookJoshua Edjida on LinkedinJoshua Edjida on WordpressJoshua Edjida on Youtube
Joshua Edjida
Lead Storyweaver
Joshua Edjida is a multidimensional artist, experience designer, author, public speaker/comedian, and transformational leadership facilitator. Originally from California, he currently lives in Colorado, and also enjoys traveling in Thailand, Bali, or in Europe.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *